Playing A Sport- Coming of Age

            It was a chilly fall morning- the morning that marked the beginning of the end of my high school tennis career, state tennis. I was nervous and excited, but at the same time I was sad. It was bittersweet to see all of my hard work and dedication come to its final execution. My four years on the team had been a roller coaster of an experience but it would all be defined by the tournament we were about to play. Our team was definitely one of the strongest teams in the tournament so all we really had to do was bring our A game. Our biggest competitors had two of their girls not even qualify for state so we were at a great advantage. We had confidence and assurance that we would undoubtedly take first place, especially due to our advantage.

            On the first day of the tournament, however, we did not play as expected. My partner and I lost one of our matches, putting us in the consolation bracket so that the highest we could get was 5^th place, one of our singles players lost both of her matches so she was out of the tournament, our other singles player was also put in the consolation bracket after a tough defeat, and our other doubles team thankfully played well enough for the rest of us and won both of their matches. That evening, we lost all hope. We just wanted the tournament to be over because we knew there was no way we could win after playing like we just had. We literally had handed over the tournament to our biggest competitors.

            After seeing the looks of defeat on our girls, I decided that we needed to do a little “digging” and change our attitudes. Being the senior on our team, I called us all together for a little meeting. I told the girls that we couldn’t give up and that we should just work our hardest to try and get second place (a task that would still be hard to do with our current position in the tournament). It was a really hard talk to have, especially because I was so heartbroken and upset, but I couldn’t let us give the entire tournament away so easily. That night, we all went home with looks of defeat. We wouldn’t talk to anybody and we all just wanted to cry. (I’ll admit I did)

            On the second, and last, day of the tournament, we all came in with a new outlook. We came to play hard, play smart, and have fun. We had no hope of winning so we all just wanted to end our season with a fun day. My partner and I were sent to a different site than the rest of our team so we had no idea what was going on with the other girls. Our first match of the day would probably be the climax of my entire tennis career.

            We began the match playing so horribly I cannot even describe it in words…you just had to be there. We were losing 2-7 and if we lost that match, all hope of even getting second place would be gone. After the sore turned to 2-7 we went to talk to our coach and I was literally fuming. After a few harsh and profane words, my partner, Keli, and I were not going to let another point slip from our hands. We went out there and everything just started to magically click. We won 7 straight games, finishing the match with an AWESOME win at 9-7! After that match, we didn’t look back. We won our next two (tough) matches with ease and confidence and came out of the tournament in 5^th place, the highest we could possibly get after our loss the previous day.

            When we got back to the main site to watch our teammates, we were all so proud of each other. We hadn’t let the previous day get in the way of us having a fun day and it had paid off. My doubles team got 5^th, our other doubles team got 1^st, and our other qualifying singles player got 9^th. We all gathered together and hugged and cheered because we were so proud of ourselves for pulling ourselves together and bringing our A game that day. We still had no hope to win, but honestly, we didn’t even care (that much).

            A minute later, I vividly remember our coach gathering us together to tell us how proud he was of how we played. Unexpectedly, however, the words that came out of his mouth were, “guys, I think we won the tournament by one point.” The way he said it, though, was with such question and uncertainty that we were all confused. After we got over the shock of those few words, we began to scream and hug and were filled with uncontainable happiness

            I do not remember ever being so proud in my life. In just a few hours, we went from having our defeated and disappointed demeanors to being the happiest we had ever been. We literally had no hope, but we promised each other that we would play our best and it worked. It took a lot of hard work and perseverance to get through that second day of the tournament but the outcome was well worth it all. 

Conversation 2

            For my second conversation with Giovanka, we met outside 1873 for coffee. The weather was so beautiful it would have practically been a sin to sit inside. She greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, something she said was customary in Brazil, and we just started chatting away! We began our conversation by talking about our weeks. She is in 4 classes all about speaking English, so her life is all about reading, writing, talking, and listening, while I am a biology major so most of my time is just memorizing, memorizing, memorizing! I gave her a few tips and hints for biology because next year, she’ll hopefully be taking it too! I can’t wait to help her out next year- I told her she can have all of my notes because I can’t imagine how hard it would be to take biology in a language besides my native language!

            As the conversation progressed, she began telling me about her weekend. She told me she went to a party with her brother, a sophomore finance major here at TCU, and had the shock of her life. She said she had never seen anything like those girls before. She reminded me of myself the first time I went out- just completely shocked. She said that in Brazil people the girls were more conservative than the girls she saw that night, and if they were dressed in short clothes, they acted properly so as not to look trashy. She also said that the dancing that she saw at that party was the kind of dancing that only the really poor, trashy people do and they immediately would get kicked out of parties for doing it in public. In my head I couldn’t help but giggle when she was talking about how shocked she was because I was that same way just a few months ago.

            She proceeded to tell me about all kinds of funny stories that have happened to her while living in the dorms- about how she can’t walk in the Colby stairwell late at night or go to the bathrooms there either because she doesn’t know what she will come across. I am just so glad that she still loves America after all of the culture shocks that she has experienced.

            We then began talking about spring break and, somehow, from there got to the conversation of different countries. She has never been out of Brazil except for being in America. I thought that was very interesting because I thought that people outside America traveled to different surrounding countries like we travel to states, so I found that very interesting. She asked me where I’d visited and then we began looking up pictures of different countries on our phones. It was really interesting to hear what she had to say about all the different countries because, through ESL, she had met people from all over the world and knew so much about different cultures-it’s crazy!

            As our conversation drew to a close, we had come up with so many fun things that we want to do together this semester that I think these 6 conversation meetings won’t be enough to get them all done! Who would have thought this little assignment would lead me to make friends with someone so cool!

            

Conversation 1

I was a little bit nervous for my first meeting with Giovanka. The day of our meeting, I spent all day coming up with topics of conversation and questions I could ask her so it wouldn’t be awkward and boring. We had emailed and decided to meet at Barnes and Noble at 2:00. I had given her my phone number so that when she got to the bookstore she could call or text me so we could meet up.

            I arrived at the bookstore at 1:55 so, just in case she was early, she wouldn’t think I had forgotten about her. I sat on the couch in the Starbucks area of the bookstore waiting and waiting for her, but she never called or texted me. I even got so nervous that she would think that I forgot her that I got up and asked some “foreign” looking girl who was sitting alone if her name was Giovanka. It was pretty embarrassing when she responded by saying “No, I’m Sally.”  Once I had been there for 30 minutes, I decided that she must have forgotten about the meeting so I left. The second I arrived at the steps of Milton Daniel, I got a text saying ‘Hey natali’. I figured, by the misspelling of my name and the lack of punctuation, that it must be Giovanka. I responded by asking if it was her and if she was at Starbucks waiting. She told me that she was there and I told her I’d go back and meet her there in 5 minutes. When I got there, I found Giovanka. She is a tall and young with beautiful blonde hair (and she looked nothing like the girl who I earlier thought was Giovanka). I apologized for leaving and she immediately started laughing.

            Apparently, she had two Natalies in her phone and she had been texting the other Natalie, in Brazil, asking where she was and why she wasn’t responding. I could tell I was going to like this girl….she is really funny and animated when she talks and always has a smile on her face.

            Once we got talking, I learned that she is a freshman as well and wants to be a doctor, just like me! From that moment forward there wasn’t an awkward moment in the conversation. She is so fun to talk to and so interesting. I love hearing her perspective on America, school, clothes, people, guys, and everything! One of the conversations that kept coming up was food. She LOVES American food. Her favorite, she said, is breakfast. In Brazil they used to only eat a piece of bread with butter and a cappuccino. Now that she came to America, she said her favorite breakfast food is bacon, closely followed by waffles and bagels.

            Her English is really quite put together. She does, of course, have an accent but it is not that strong. She told me stories about her life in Brazil, about her goals for her time in America and about all of the things that she finds ridiculous that we do here. The thing in America that confuses her the most, she said, is fraternities and sororities. She said she thinks it’s silly that the guys have to dress up for class sometimes and that she would love to listen and see what they actually say in the meetings because it beats her!

            I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Giovanka and look forward to seeing her again. I can see us actually hanging out outside of our conversations and being real friends-she is SO cool!

Huck Finn Experienced?

1. Have you read the novel –Huck Finn- before?  If so where and why?

I have never read Huck Finn before…it was a “recommended reading” book for the summers throughout high school but I never got around to it.

Answer either 2 or 3 depending on your answer to 1.

2. If you have not read Huck Finn before, surely you know something about the novel and character from references and allusions in popular culture.  What do you know about either the novel and/or character?

I knew of Huck Finn from learning about Mark Twain and reading Tom Sawyer in school. I knew he was a lower-class rebellious kid from a rough background. I also knew that this novel was one of the “banned books” because of its bluntness about racism because I learned about it in class. Other than that, though, I didn’t really know much about the novel or Huck.

3. What was your response to reading Huck Finn, and what do you remember from your reading?  Also, did you actually read the whole novel, or just parts of it?  Did you read Cliff Notes or Monarch Notes instead?

 N/A

4. If you were assigned to read Huck Finn in a previous class, either here or in high school, how did your class as a whole react to the novel?  Why do you think your instructor assigned the novel?  How did he or she try to “teach” the novel?

N/A

5. If you were required to read Huck Finn in a previous class, what sort of assignments were you required to complete, and what exactly did you do during the classes when Huck Finn was being discussed.

N/A

6. Huck Finn is still one of the most controversial and most banned books in America.  Why is it so controversial? 

I think that the dialect used is very controversial for many different reasons. It very bluntly uses the “n word” and at the time (and still, I think) it had very negative connotations and was a very hurtful word. Aside from vulgar language, however, I also think that our country is embarrassed by our harsh acts during the time of slaver and has been trying to distance ourselves from that time ever since.

7. Is Huck Finn still relevant to you as college student today?  Should it continue to be taught in college classrooms?

I think that Huck Finn is relevant to me as a college student today and should continue to be taught. It reminds us of how our country used to act and think. Although the plot isn’t that relevant to me because slavery isn’t a problem anymore and my situation in life is quite different than Huck’s, I think it is important to remind students our age how the world used to be and how thankful we should be. Also, books today do not really have as much of the deep symbolism and other literary elements used by Twain in this novel.

8.  The general consensus among critics is that Huck Finn is a brilliant and powerful novel, but also a flawed and problematic novel.  What do you think might be flawed and/or problematic about the novel?

The only flaw I find in the novel is the reality of it. The situation of Jim and Huck both running away is much more high stress than both characters seem to think. Also, the plot is quite goofy and jumpy, taking a situation that should be really serious and making it light-hearted. I don’t think that is a flaw, though. I think that is what makes this book enjoyable to read. We can still learn from reading it and highlight what has happened in the past while enjoying our reading experience.

The Best Holiday Ever- Coming of Age

After ten weeks of preparation for the “feast of feasts,” the day we have all been waiting for has finally arrived. It is a cold spring Saturday night in Wichita, Kansas. Everyone is famished, exhausted, and anxiously awaiting the beginning of the glorious service. We enter the church long before the service even begins, just to guarantee a seat- it is, of course, Easter, the day everyone comes out to celebrate. The church is dimmed at first and everyone is reflecting upon their journey through Great Lent, lamenting the loss of our Savior and trying to grasp the amazing event that we are about to celebrate. The service begins quietly around 11:00 PM with a service entitled Midnight Office, which elaborates on the importance of Christ’s death and his breaking of the Bonds of Hades for us. The beautiful sounds of byzantine chant fill the church as the parish intently listens, trying to fully grasp the miracle that is about to be celebrated. At the conclusion of this service, all lights are extinguished and it is completely silent for just a moment. Then, the priest, using his already lit candle, lights the candle of someone in the front, and the light is passed back through the entire church.

As this light is being passed, a hymn is chanted as follows: “Come receive the light from the light that is never overtaken by night, come glorify Christ who is risen from the dead.” In a matter of just a minute, the entire church goes from darkness to light-which, aside from being absolutely beautiful, is a very symbolic event in the service. It not only symbolizes how this one man, Christ, spread light throughout the world, but the lyrics of the hymn emphasize that His light is so strong that it cannot be overtaken by even the darkness of night or, metaphorically, evil.

After all the candles are lit, it is about midnight. We all go outside and process around the church, singing “Thy resurrection O Christ our Savior, the angels in Heaven sing, enable us on earth to glorify Thee with purity of heart” asking that, although we are a fallen people and we have sinned against Him, we may glorify the Lord purely. This event in the service represents when the Myrrh-bearing Women made their journey to the tomb of Christ to find Him gone.

Once everyone has made the procession around the church, we are all cold and still hungry, but no ounce of worldly cares can distract us from the feast we are about to celebrate. In front of the church doors, there is a sort of reenactment of Christ breaking the Bonds of Hades and, immediately, we begin to sing a song of Christ’s rising from the dead. Everyone comes back into the bright and joyous church and the liturgy (regular Sunday service) is continued as normal but with exceeding light and joy. The priest raises his voice in praise saying, “Christ is Risen” as the parish responds “Indeed He is Risen” in several different language. As the service progresses, we all forget our tiredness, although we have been standing for hours and it is past midnight by this point, and praise the Lord with our whole heart.

            Once the service is over, there is a huge feast in our church hall, which is the first time in seven weeks that we all have had meat, dairy, and practically everything that is delicious. It is a HUGE celebration and there are hundreds of people there to rejoice in the resurrection of Christ. There is no time in the whole year when I see more joy in people. Everyone is in great fellowship with each other, everyone has worked on their relationship with Christ throughout the journey of Great Lent and is spiritually “in shape,” and everyone is slightly delirious because it is 2:00 AM.

            After such a long spiritual and physical cleansing, attending all kinds of services, from the Washing of the Feet and the Holy Unction to the service of Great and Holy Friday and undergoing long periods of fasting, everyone is so ready to celebrate Easter! THAT is why it is my favorite holiday. It is the most anticipated, joyous, and spiritually enriching holiday and I LOVE it. 

A Favorite Teacher- Coming of Age

When I think about the best teacher I’ve ever had, immediately one woman comes to mind- Mrs. P. Mrs. P is about 60 now, with bright red hair, a smile that brightens any room and her own spunky sense of style. Her shoes and purses always matched, and, her proudest accomplishment, they always matched her nail polish. I was first introduced to her when she was my Girl Choir teacher in 4^th grade, she then moved on to be my middle school choir teacher, and finally moved up with my class into high school to be our accompanist- so you could say Mrs. P and I have some history.

Growing up, I was a pretty shy girl at school. Also, being the eldest child, I was not used to being surrounded by older girls (girl choir was 4^th-6^th grade) so I was extremely shy. In girl choir, I would rarely say a word and would try to sing as quietly as possible. If it weren’t for Mrs. P, I would probably still be that way today. She invested in me; she saw me as a project and worked hard to instill confidence in me. When singing she would always look at me and hint to me to be louder, and when I listened, she would give me a reassuring nod that I was doing it right. I began feeling comfortable around her and feeling like I could talk and joke around. When people would see me in music class, that was the real me. I was just being myself- a goofy kid.

As the years went on, Mrs. P never gave up on me. She not only invested in my musical abilities, but she helped me grow into my own person through music. She knew I could sing but she wanted me to feel it; she wanted me to sing from my heart. Until I knew what it meant to really sing with emotion, I thought ‘singing from your heart’ was the lamest, fakest thing ever. She would ask me after I’d sing a solo ‘how did that feel, Nat?’ and I would always answer with something like ‘that was fun, did it sound good?’ I was so confused about what she could possibly mean- yes, it is fun to sing a solo and hear people cheer for you, but I didn’t understand how it could be an emotional experience.

In my sophomore year of high school, however, I finally got to understand this wonderful feeling. It was a cold February evening at the Wichita Collegiate School talent show. I was singing ‘The Voice Within,’ a song about a girl who is a dreamer, but fears her dreams. It is about just trusting yourself and realizing that that’s all you can do. Along with having the most pertinent lyrics, the song itself is just beautiful. I remember, as always, being nervous out of my mind, but knowing that when I walked on that stage and got Mrs. P’s reassuring nod, everything would be alright.

I went out on stage and began with a soft tone, becoming louder and more powerful as the song progressed. I had never had more fun than I was having at that moment singing. I was so confident and felt like I was on the top of the world. In my life, this was a moment when I changed tremendously. I was singing for me; I was having fun and sharing a message that I found important with people in the best way I knew possible, through music. That was what was most important to me-finding the way that I speak to people, finding my voice within. I remember wishing that the song would never end. When the song was over and I was walking off stage, I was just shaking. I had just experienced the most amazing feeling ever- it was indescribable.

After I walked off stage, Mrs. P immediately left her spot at the piano and ran out to give me a hug. She told me she KNEW that I felt it that time. When she saw the joy on my face, she had no doubt that I knew what she was talking about. She just continued embracing me.

This was when I truly felt how much she really loved her job and her students. She was so happy that I got to feel that incredible feeling. Her job was to share the gift of music and, at that moment, she knew that it was a job well done. Mrs. P’s love for music, love for her students, and her ability to literally change lives with her talents are what truly make her my favorite teacher. She not only showed me the effect music can have on people, but she changed my life. She turned shy, quiet, insecure little Natalie into the confident woman I was on that stage and the confident woman I am today.

1930's Article

In an edition of Literary Digest, published on January 19, 1935, an article was written entitled “Turning Spotlight on the Forgotten Child.” During the 1930’s, America was in the time known as The Great Depression after the stock market crash of 1929. Just thinking back on The Great Depression, it was a time when “coming of age” must have been extremely prominent. Coming of age, I feel, does not have to happen only when you are an adolescent becoming an adult. I think it can come at any age in any form. When the wealthy lost their money, they had to learn to live a life of poverty, they had a coming of age experience; when the men had to go out and scrape for any small amount of money they could make, they had a coming of age experience; and when the wives were pushed into a position to act as a single parent while their husbands were out working like animals, they had a coming of age experience as well. Oftentimes, however, when we reflect on the time of The Great Depression, we forget about the children. This article is a plea for the world to remember those forgotten children because they are the future of the country. The article states that 1/6 of the nation’s child population, 7,400,000 children, are in families that are dependent on emergency relief, but since the emergency relief was so low, the children were not getting everything they needed. It says that the health and welfare of these children was in jeopardy.

One statistic form the article states that more than 700,000 of these children’s fathers were dead. This is definitely a means for coming of age. The children had to step up and assume responsibilities that were far beyond their years. These children were forced to skip their adolescence and grow up prematurely. They were suddenly thrust form school life into 8-hour shifts of working in factories and harsh conditions. Not only was this taking away the childhoods of these poor children, it was hazardous for people their age. During The Great Depression, we always remember those who worked to make a living for their families, and even those who helped out domestically to keep everything under control, but we often forget the poor children who had to suffer through their childhood and, oftentimes, lose their childhood entirely.

Although coming of age often has a positive connotation, in this case, I believe it has a negative one for the children. They had to grow up so fast and so harshly. While my coming of age story is about me going from a small private high school in Kansas to TCU and “growing up,” doing my own laundry, and cleaning my own sink, their coming of age story was so traumatic. Reading this article really put into perspective how blessed I am to live the life I live in the place I am and during the time that I do. 

Candide

As I sat down to read Candide, I knew nothing about the novel. All I knew was that I liked the length (75 pages is my kind of book) and I liked the format (short chapters, giving me frequent stopping points to take breaks and get distracted, like I always do). Once I began reading the novel, however, I just became confused. What is the point of the story? Why is Candide so naïve? And when is just going to give it up!?

It wasn’t until I took a long break in my reading that I made two interesting realizations, or at least I thought they were interesting. The first was that the short, choppy chapters reflected the short, choppy nature of Candide and his adventures. I’m not really one to observe such relationships so I was pretty proud when I made this discovery. The second was that, throughout the whole story (thus far), Candide had gone through all of these hardships and adventures just to reunite Cunegonde, a woman who he ”loved” so much. As I thought about this, I realized that there is no way that Candide could really know if he loved Cunegonde. He loved her appearance, he loved the way she kissed, he loved her status, but all of those things were perishable. I think that, like almost everyone does, Candide built up Cunegonde in his mind after they were separated to be this amazing woman who he loved so much while, in reality, he had no idea if he truly loved her.

At the time, this discovery kind of annoyed me. I was reading an entire book that was based on false love and Candide was doing so much just to be reunited with this woman that he thought he loved. I knew, however, that with such a negative attitude, the remaining 30 pages would seem like a lifetime, so I had to not Candide’s naivety annoy me. A banana and a Diet Coke later, I picked up the book with a rejuvenated attitude that I was going to read it and like it (it’s amazing what a little snack can do for you).

This time around, however, I began to like Candide more and more. I acknowledged the humor and satire, I light heartedly laughed at the ridiculous plot and at almost everything that Pangloss said, and I even began to accept Candide’s adventure as more of a call to duty and less of an ignorant attempt to find love. All young people are just looking for a calling, a place to be needed, and Candide thought that he found his. Candied exhibited heroic qualities such as hope, perseverance, and faith. Once I let go of the fact that Candide was chasing after a woman who he had no idea if he truly loved, the book wasn’t so bad after all.

The end of the novel is really what made me the happiest. ‘Happy?’ one may think. ‘How does Candide recieving an old, raped, unattractive woman for his wife make you happy?’ I don’t want anyone to think that I’m a negative or hateful person by nature, because I’m actually quite opposite-I just like it when someone who makes a mistake (at least in a book) gets what’s coming for them. Candide thought that he “loved” Cunegonde, but it was all based on external things and, for that reason, when she came to him old and ugly he was disappointed. I am truly a sucker for the moral of stories and I think, along with its many other lessons, one very crucial one is that love is about more than just looks and worldly things. Those can all go away in a heartbeat-you know you’re in love when you are handed over an old ugly woman that you once loved and you love her just the same (if not more).

Although the start of my journey reading Candide was a little bit rocky, I truly enjoyed the novel after reflecting on it and taking it for what it is-a funny, light hearted, novel that, in its own strange way, teaches many lessons to its readers.