Coming of Age: Becoming A Camp Counselor

            Every summer since I was nine years old, I have gone to an Orthodox Christian summer camp called Camp St. Raphael. By far it has always been my favorite place in the world and the one week I look forward to all year. I get to be surrounded by people who share the same beliefs as me, worship the same way as me, and have been raised in similar environments as me. Last summer, however, was the first summer I was old enough to apply to be a counselor so, of course, I did. I applied and a couple of months later found out that I was chosen to be on staff!

Two days before camp began, the last weekend in June to be exact, we had a weekend of staff training. It was a really fun time where we learned what was expected of us and what to do in different situations, while getting to know the rest of our staff. I was the youngest person on staff and one of the only new counselors so, while this was old news for everyone else, it was all new to me. The night before the campers were going to arrive, we were hanging out in our cabins and were told to put on flip-flops and head to the chapel. I walked over there with my friends expecting just another informational talk, but when I looked into the dark chapel, I knew that they had something different in store for us.

We all silently sat on the two long black benches that were facing each other with an aisle in the middle. Everyone was silently praying so I just followed along. A few minutes later, Father James, our camp priest, told us that he was now going to wash our feet with holy water Just as Jesus did to his disciples to make us clean and prepare us to set a path for our campers. At first, this thought was very weird to me. I was confused and more nervous for the process than anything else; I was the last one on the last bench, though, so I had time to watch and learn. As I watched, I saw Father James get on his knees, put holy water on the first person’s bare feet, kiss them, and say forgive me. Once the process sunk in, it hit me. This was a huge deal. He was cleansing me from my past so I could make a clear path for my campers. I was going to be a disciple to these kids and I had to make sure I did it right!

I sat on the bench with my head down waiting for my turn to come. As I was waiting, I began to reflect on myself, my sins, my strengths and my weaknesses. During this time of reflection I came to the realization that I was going to be a role model for the kids at camp and really needed to do my best to live the way that Christ lived- humbly and faithfully. When it finally became my turn, I got my feet cleansed and our staff all stood up and began to sing some of our favorite church songs.

Although this experience may seem insignificant to some, to me it was a huge deal. It was my transition from being a camper, someone who constantly is seeking advice and looking up to everyone, to being a counselor- the one who is supposed to give advice. In our camp, the counselors talk to the campers all year, too, so it has been an ongoing change. It has caused me to grow in so many ways and realize how much my role models have affected me and how I want to be that for my campers. 

Existentialism in TKAM

As I sat down to read To Kill A Mockingbird (TKAM), many memories of freshman year popped into my head. I remembered sitting in Mrs. Bigler’s classroom on the first day of school and having to discuss this book because it was our summer reading. I had read it so intently because I was an overachieving freshman who wanted to blow my teacher away on the first day. As we began our discussion, however, I realized how much I had missed in the book. I had missed the deeper meaning and symbolism that Harper Lee had scattered throughout the novel and my eyes were opened to a whole new way of reading. This was the first book whose symbolism I actually enjoyed and understood and I was really excited to get to read it again.

Reading it again, after 4 years of having to pick apart books and look at the bigger picture, I got so much more out of TKAM. One thing that I think I completely missed when I was a freshman in high school, though, was the existentialism exhibited throughout the novel (probably because I had never heard of existentialism) and how it drives so many of the people’s actions.

One of the biggest examples of existentialism in the novel is how Jem, Scout, and Dill portray Boo Radley. Boo is not bothering them, he has never done anything to make them question him, and he has literally no influence on their lives whatsoever, but for some reason they are fascinated by him. Jem purposely makes up stories about him and, in his mind, turns Boo into a huge mystery. I think this is in part due to the fact that they are from Maycomb, Alabama and it is a small place with not a lot to do. They use what they have around to put meaning in their lives and they do so by wanting to see Boo and playing games having to do with him and his family.

Another example of existentialism is how the entire town is so bent up about Tom’s trial. I do understand that considering the time and place defending a black man is a huge deal, but I do think that the town is overly obsessed with the trial because of their lack of things to do. They, unintentionally, find meaning in their lives by obsessing over Atticus, his family, and the trial. I can imagine this town to be one of those places where word travels fast and nothing goes unnoticed by EVERYONE.

This may be boring to read, but I think existentialism is very interesting so I try and find it everywhere, probably because I come from a small city and I find that oftentimes people obsess over the littlest things to make their lives “worth something.”

Overall, I really loved reading TKAM and have found that reading it after so many years has given me a better understanding of Lee’s tasteful use of literary devices and her ability to make serious things, such as racism, be portrayed in a way that is enjoyable to read.

Three Day Blow

When I sat down to read the Three Day Blow, I was very excited. I love short stories for some reason…maybe because they’re short so the light at the end of the tunnel comes fast but I don’t know- I’ve always loved them. I have also really enjoyed the Nick Adams stories so far. They are seemingly uneventful, but after we read them a few times and dig deep, there is so much meaning inside-I guess that’s what Hemingway’s iceberg theory is all about.

Anyway, I began reading the story and, of course, one of the first things they did was bring out the alcohol. This seems to be a recurring theme in Hemingway’s stories and novels. I knew immediately that alcohol was what I wanted to write my blog about because it just comes up so much in these stories and it kind of bothers me the way that, not only Hemingway’s characters, but people in general use and abuse alcohol.

In the novel, I can see a few reasons why Nick and Bill would want to drink alcohol. I think that they are of similar age as we are-not yet mature, but at the age where you kind of want to be seen as mature- so they drink in order to feel older. That is how a lot of college kids are and I think it is the least destructive use of alcohol that is seen in the novel. Another reason that Nick drinks alcohol is to clear his mind of his problems…this reason for drinking is really one that bothers me. I may be biased because I’ve never drank so I don’t know how “awesome” it feels, but I think using a stimulus to get rid of your problems can only make them worse. When Nick gets used to not feeling his pain from losing Marge due to his alcohol consumption, he feels it ten times harder when he sobers up a little bit and I find that unhealthy and counterproductive. Sure, he gets to feel good for a few hours, but after that, he feels even lousier because he’s felt so good for so long. The last reason I think Nick drinks alcohol is because his father doesn’t and he either does it to experiment or to be despite him. Both of these reasons are very natural responses for adolescents to have, but both can be very dangerous. For a person who has not been introduced to alcohol in a healthy, family setting I think that experimenting with alcohol could end up badly just because they don’t know limits. Nick goes in with the intention to get drunk, which is a very unhealthy mindset that I have seen numerous times throughout the Hemingway stories.

This blog probably seems like a rant but I guess that’s what blogging kind of is and that is really something that caught my attention not only in Three Day Blow but in other Hemingway stories as well.