A turning point- Coming of Age

I have always been the kind of person to change my career path almost every day. I am interested in so many things but I am not exceptionally passionate about one thing or gifted in a certain subject. All that I have always known is that I want to do something to help people; the thing that has been variable, however, is the means by which I am going to help them. My dad is a doctor, so growing up I always said I wanted to be a doctor (not knowing if it was even right for me, it was just an easy answer). Once I finally got to TCU and declared my major as biology pre-med, my whole world was changed though. I never realized just how much hard work, dedication, and diligence it took to complete the courses required to be a doctor. I had always been a straight A student and was DEFINITELY no longer one after the first biology and chemistry tests I took.  I also never realized how many people were just in it for the money and status and that really didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t want to be looked at like that and started to question if helping people was really the drive for most doctors.

I completely broke down after my first round of test and SWORE that medicine was not for me and that I was meant to be something else. I went to career services and took all kinds of crazy tests to see what I should be when I grow up, but nothing was helping. I was in the most difficult classes I could imagine and had no drive to succeed-a horrible combination.

My future has always been something that I have prayed about a lot. I have always just asked that God guide me to find my calling and help me find a job where I can do fulfill my role as a Christian. I prayed and prayed and literally nothing changed. I was just doing worse on the tests and getting more and more upset.

One Sunday in early November I was home for the weekend and I was at church with my family. I was, as per usual, just begging that God help me to find what I am supposed to do in life (as you can tell, it was REALLY weighing me down). I “knew” that medicine was not the path for me because no matter how hard I studied I kept on failing, so I was constantly looking for some opportunity or any sign that something was my “thing”. As I was standing in church that Sunday, that “thing” was literally just given to me. We were all standing as the priest read the gospel and suddenly, Aunt Jean (an old lady in the church who isn’t technically anyone’s aunt, but she is just so kind to everyone that’s what we call her) became really dizzy and could no longer see, stand or talk. She stands in the front row so everyone saw what was going on but everyone around her didn’t quite know what to do. Immediately, my dad went over to her row, calmly began trying to talk to her, asked her some questions to try and figure out what was wrong, then carried her to the back of the church and called an ambulance.

Her daughter, our choir director immediately made someone else direct and frantically ran to the back of the church, and her grandson who is the chanter at our church just left to the back in tears. Everyone was so scared and confused as to what was going on. My dad went with the family to the hospital as church continued. I was completely shaken by this. As church progressed, I couldn’t stop thinking about Aunt Jean. Even more so, however, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a help my dad was. He was able to figure out what was wrong with Aunt Jean, he calmed the family down and completely took charge of the situation.

            Maybe this was just me reading too much into every little thing that happened in my life as I looked for answers to my prayers, but at that moment, I realized that being a doctor is so much more than I imagined. In that moment my dad was a counselor, a physician, and a friend. He helped out Aunt Jean’s family all day and continually checked on her for the weeks to come. I took that as the answer to my prayers and ran with it.

After we left church, I had to go back to school. As I was saying goodbye, I looked to my parents and said “guys, I definitely want to be a doctor again.” They looked at me with puzzled faces because I had talked so much about how I hated it and would never be a doctor. They just responded saying whatever makes me happy is what I should do and I left. Since that weekend, I have had a clear goal and have done everything I can to achieve that goal. I may not be the smartest person in my classes (actually I definitely am not), but I have consistently worked so hard in order to achieve my goal. This was a turning point in my life. It gave me a goal and a purpose and has completely been the driving force of my life ever since. Although it seems like a silly story when put into words, it was such a powerful experience.